Our Acts have got Consequences

Sometimes we act without thinking about the consequences. We do something because we simply wish it, want it and feel that if we don´t try it we will never know what will happen.

Sometimes we are more conservative and we don't try new experience because mainly, we are afraid about the possible results.

Undoubtedly, I belong to the first one.

I have gone through a lot of changes from Summer'04.

I have always been very close to my mother (and I am), but suddenly I decided I wanted to go of Erasmus, where? To some place where I could learn English. What happened? The most of my classmates wished to go to those places as well. I did the entrance exam to go to places where the official language was English and the exam where the official language was German.

I did for myself the English exam and I passed it! but my classmates were better and they got best grades. However, I was the best in the German exam!! How? Very easy, I was so lucky that the girl who was sat next to me in the exam was studying German and I have good eyesight... that I got a 9,8/10.

Of course, University suggested me to go to Germany or Austria. I reject it 'cause I did not have idea of German.

After almost two months, University called me to propose me again the challenge of going to, not Germany because it cannot consider as "Germany", Cottbus!!!... For me Cottbus does not belong to any Country, city or whatever... Cottbus was, is and will be Cottbus (other day I will explain my feelings when I arrived Cottbus).

I landed in Germany without speaking English (of course, nothing of German). It was my fourth great challenge of my life although it meant the first important decision I took for myself (the previous three ones were something like law of life).

Loving Cootbus and my life there after 18 months, after a call from a Company from Madrid, I decided (second important decision taken by myself) I packed all my stuffs and I moved to Madrid... and once I got Madrid, I am suffering continous changes until the moment.

The current changes are not so drastic as the previous and although they are connected, their impact is very important in my life.

4 years suffering changes, 4 years taking important decisions by myself, 4 years trying to get my aims and dreams, 4 years investigating what can be the best for me, 4 years and I have not reach the theorical stability that "maybe" I would like. And I say "maybe" because seemingly it's like if I run from it.

My friends get permanent jobs, buy a house, get engagement, get married, get pregnant, have children!!... and meanwhile, I have nothing to do with it.

What do I want? I'm not sure at the moment... but the important thing is that I'm happy with the things I have and until I do not try some of the ones that I don´t have I cannot miss them because I do not know the feeling of having them... but honestly, I hope to get some of them soon!

And why I have written this "sermon"? Because a minutes ago I talked to one of my best friends and she told me she is waiting for a baby. She's not my first friend who's going to be mom but because of her circunstances and becaue she is who/how she is have made me thinking about the possible changes we can experience because at one second we said "not/yes and not yes/not".

Every decision, every action, every gesture we do will have an impact on the rest of our life and the most important: in the life of the people close to us and for that reason, we should be careful.

With my decision about moving to Germany, it affected to my family, people who I knew in Germany, my experiences in my different trips/works/the morning someone smiled me in the underground/the evening I smiled someone in the street/the alms someone can give to a beggar... in short, our day by day makes the person we are and impacts and build the personality of the people around us.